My first relapse?

Argh! The MS seemed to be hiding for the last few months and I've been getting myself back to the person I used to be... but I think it's coming back :(

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a burning sensation on my upper thigh. It would last for a few minutes, and come on a few times every day. I went to the doctor last week and he gave me Capsaicin cream to alleviate the burning. Now the burning goes down from my thigh to my toes on my right leg. Don't get me wrong, it's not the worst experience ever but it's still a reminder of this disease.

A few days ago, I had a weird feeling in my right arm and hand (where it all began!). I have practiced the tests that the Neuro docs do (straightening my arms out and trying to hold them there). In the past, when my arm was weak, it would drop down out of my control. This time, my arms are staying up. So this seems to  be  a feeling as opposed to a physical symptom. I'm hoping it stays like that, but I have a horrible feeling in my stomach that this is gonna be my first relapse.

It's strange, as I felt, for the past while, that I was coping well with the idea of my life with MS. Now, I'm not so sure. I'm trying to prepare myself for this possible relapse, but is there really a way you can do that? Is there really a way to allow this disease to borrow the use of your limbs for a while? To make you feel so tired that you're actually too tired to sleep? To cause you discomfort through pins and needles and burning in your body? And the worst bit is not knowing when your body will be returned to you from the grips of the disease.  I'll just have to wait and see......