For the first time since my diagnosis, I feel normal! I'm saying this after spending the last few days in my jammies, struggling to shower and walk around. It started as a cold but has turned into a chest infection that is threatening to burst my tonsils open! I can't stop coughing, and it hurts SO much!
But this is great. Why? Because I'm so caught up in being miserable with my infection that MS is barely getting a second thought.
I am SUCH a baby when I'm sick. All of my family or friends could back me up, citing the many phone calls they get from me sniffling down the phone, encouraging them to say "poor Lydia", in a way that would make you think I was a four year old!
I can't say that I "feel" the MS in my system on a general day, but I've always felt different to how I was before my diagnosis. The past four days have been a welcomed respite from that "different" feeling. I'm sniffly, have a temperature and can't cough without wincing, but you know what? It's a brilliant feeling :)
Affirm and Visualise
When I first learnt that I would have to inject myself every day, I was panicked, and wondered how I would ever get used to the idea. I spent the days prior to my first injection worrying sick about the prospects of having to pierce my own skin. I then remembered an inspirational story from a facilitator of a course I attended. He was a needle- phobe, and developed diabetes so was required to inject himself on a daily basis. He used affirmations and visualisations to prepare himself for the prospect of injecting.
I used this idea, and spent the three days before my first injection repeating my affirmation "I am calmly and safely injecting myself with my MS medicine". I would do this hundreds of times a day. I would wake up saying it, and go to sleep saying it. I also put a lot of energy into visualising myself injecting. I worked really hard on this, and when the time came to use Copaxone for the first time, I managed to calmly and safely inject myself with it. I have never felt anxious or nervous about injecting and I firmly believe that this was due to my preparation in using affirmations and visualisations. I often use them in my day- to- day life now.
I used this idea, and spent the three days before my first injection repeating my affirmation "I am calmly and safely injecting myself with my MS medicine". I would do this hundreds of times a day. I would wake up saying it, and go to sleep saying it. I also put a lot of energy into visualising myself injecting. I worked really hard on this, and when the time came to use Copaxone for the first time, I managed to calmly and safely inject myself with it. I have never felt anxious or nervous about injecting and I firmly believe that this was due to my preparation in using affirmations and visualisations. I often use them in my day- to- day life now.
Injecting fun!!
I have been injecting myself with Copaxone every day now since November 11th, 2010. Now, it is a part of my daily routine, and causes no distress at all, but it hasn't always been easy. When I first learnt that I would have to inject myself, I was panicked. I had no idea how I would manage it. I then remembered a training course that I had done where the facilitator had taught us about how he used affirmations to prepare himself when he discovered he had diabetes and would need to self- inject.
I spent days repeating
I spent days repeating
Accepting MS
It's been four months since my first symptom, and I have realised that a lot of my emotional "stuff" stems from my difficulty in accepting that I am now someone who suffers with a disease.
I like to be organised, I like to be in control, and I'm not a big fan of change.
Multiple Sclerosis has taken this away from me, and I have finally realised that I need to stop fighting against this and accept that my life will now be different due to MS.
Right now, my life is "different bad", but soon enough, when my medication kicks in, my life will just be different. I will have to take better care of myself, not work so hard and sleep more. I will also have to learn to expect the unexpected, which is a challenge for anyone- more so for a control freak like myself :)
During a conversation with my dad the other night, I realised that I had personally told only a handful of people about my diagnosis. This was partially because I was ignorant to MS and what it means, and partially because I did not want to accept as part of my life.
So this is it, I am taking control of myself and the fact that Multiple Sclerosis. I have started this blog, and I am going to commit myself to not hiding it anymore.
MY NAME IS LYDIA AND I HAVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS!
I like to be organised, I like to be in control, and I'm not a big fan of change.
Multiple Sclerosis has taken this away from me, and I have finally realised that I need to stop fighting against this and accept that my life will now be different due to MS.
Right now, my life is "different bad", but soon enough, when my medication kicks in, my life will just be different. I will have to take better care of myself, not work so hard and sleep more. I will also have to learn to expect the unexpected, which is a challenge for anyone- more so for a control freak like myself :)
During a conversation with my dad the other night, I realised that I had personally told only a handful of people about my diagnosis. This was partially because I was ignorant to MS and what it means, and partially because I did not want to accept as part of my life.
So this is it, I am taking control of myself and the fact that Multiple Sclerosis. I have started this blog, and I am going to commit myself to not hiding it anymore.
MY NAME IS LYDIA AND I HAVE MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS!
How I got to today!
On October 13th, 2010 I noticed a weakness in my hand, making it difficult to write. I didn't believe it to be serious, but my boyfriend and mother bullied me into going to the doctors. I went to my GP on October 15th, 2010 and she could not figure out what was wrong, and I was immediately sent to hospital. I was admitted to the Neurology ward and stayed for seven days, where they conducted a number of blood tests, a CAT scan, and MRI scan and a lumbar puncture. I was informed, seven days after my first (known) symptom that they believed I may have MS. Within a week of leaving hospital, I had blurred vision and difficulty walking due to weakness in my legs. I started Copaxone daily injections on November 11th, 2010.
Every day brings a new challenge. Some days I wake up with a new symptom, or a previous symptom may be better or worse than it was the day before.
Being diagnosed with MS was a big shock to me and my family. We are still trying to realise what this means for my future, but what we all have in common is Hope.
Every day brings a new challenge. Some days I wake up with a new symptom, or a previous symptom may be better or worse than it was the day before.
Being diagnosed with MS was a big shock to me and my family. We are still trying to realise what this means for my future, but what we all have in common is Hope.
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