The last three weeks have been the happiest I have had in the past four months. When I wrote the post "I'm sick, no really", I was suffering with a really bad cold. It turned into a chest infection. Within three days of finishing my anti- biotics, I got a viral infection which resulted in a bad cough and groggy head :( So four days ago, that cleared up, and two days ago I managed to pull a muscle in my lower back. I feel so unlucky! Despite all of these things attacking my body, the MS has been barely present. My L' Hermittes signs have quadrupled since hurting my back but it's one of the symptoms I don't mind (for more info on L' Hermittes, click here http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/LHermittessign.html).
In between all the mini- sicknesses I've had over the past month, I cannot help but be excited that the MS seems to be regulating itself in my body. I feel almost myself again. I am really looking forward to being an active participant in my life again. I can't wait to get dressed up and go on a girl's night out that consists of dancing and too much vodka and I am really excited about going back to work and becoming a contributing member of society again.
Although the idea of returning to how my life was before is so exciting to me, I am also really nervous. Prior to October 2010, my life was a certain way. I worked long hours and nightshifts, had a really bad sleep pattern, stressed out a lot, exercised very little and spent so much time wanting to be everything to everyone, without "minding myself". Since my diagnosis in October, all my life has been about is MS. I think about it hundreds of times a day. I am aware of my limitations at this current time, and I am learning about what my future limitations may be. The new challenge I am/ will encounter in the next while is how I can marry my "old" life to my "new" one. I have been made very aware by all the MS support workers I have spoken to that my life will no longer be like what it was before. I definitly have to change certain aspects of it, and have been incorporating these changes gradually, (yoga, meditation, relaxation, asking for help/ support, etc.).
MS is now a part of my life, as opposed to being my life, which, through no fault of my own, has been the case since my diagnosis. I have been consumed by the MS now for four months... This is the exciting/ nerve wracking time where I have to incorporate the two.
Wish me luck!!!
Thanks very much for the post of the MSI page on FB
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear that your MS has been stable. It is a good feeling when you realize that MS doesn't have to take over your life! Keep up the postive attitude and good luck w/ returning to work. Have a great time on your girls night too!
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you are finding your new "normal." Not long ago, I found my new "normal" with MS and I am happy to report that with this "normalcy" I have been able to play volleyball again for the first time since my diagnosis - it feels great to be able to do something that I did for so long before MS and had worried I would never be able to do again after my diagnosis!
ReplyDeleteOptimisticWithMS.blogspot.com
Oh, Lydia reading that post was like talking a walk down memory lane. You remind me so much of who I use to be in soooo many ways. As a matter of fact my blog is entitled my new normals. Yes, I'm finding it as well. Slowly, I'm starting to except that Normal is continuously changing, constantly eluding me, it's tricks me, it changes like a camellia! Now my goal is to accept,adjust, and move forward....be it rolling or hopping don't care!
ReplyDeleteThe heart of my blog where you come to mind is located under MY STORY. Go figure. LOL. Long story short I enjoyed the read and the stroll down memory lane. I'm 35 now, but diagnosed at 25. I wasn't savvy enough to blog then. So, you are already one up on me!